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despised tears Well lookies whose behind on entries. I am not in the mood to recall my trip to Washington right now so maybe I'll go in reverse chronological order and get to that later. Ugh. These last few days I've been in an extremely bitter mood. I guess its a combination of the worst week of the year coming up, full of hell and pain and humiliation, the realization that homework has taken up my entire summer and will take up the last day before it ends to soccer, the fact that i an enept at everything I try even tho I care a lot more about it than most everyone else, blahh rant moan complain. I'm just being a whiny bitch because I cant be the person I want to be, I cant get what i want and I'm sitting here with a wasted summer. Fun fun fun. Self-pity, moan, self-pity. Why dont we all save this problem for everyone else and smother her in the night. Preferably tonight. before this week has its time to make me even more miserable than I am now. I'm just jealous of everyone else bc they dont have to do this crap and I'm dreading soccer tryouts worse than ever. Time to go find pain, humiliate myself because I suck, throw up in the trees because I'm a lazy piece of lard who hasnt run, and see enemies at the same time. And there are some ppl that are respected and I have no idea why. It pisses me off. Especially when... ehh nvm. I'll shut up now. Leave the complaining for my head, go away. Please. I'll take care of myself.
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