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a foggy mind and schoolish doings A broom full of sugar helps the medicine go down... Well I've been off in my own non-computerish world lately and havent told you much about it, now have I? The past few days or so havent been wonderful so I havent felt the need to update here. I've been sick with a cold since Sunday and its driving me crazy. I rarely get sick and so when I do, it seems worse. School is starting to get almost regular, and it's not that bad. I like seeing everyone and learning and the familiarity, the community. The work just plain sucks like always but since its not too bad yet I'm enjoying things almost. The cold has ruined that as of late, but otherwise things are decent. Actually yesterday I was very mad because the letters for people who were accepted into NHS went out, and guess who didnt make it? Yep, me, the little failure. Because I was late, those stupid demerits. But I've been keeping on top of most of the schoolwork, at least more than usual. Its a nice day out now, and I feel bad wasting it. The smell inside is stale, probably because Timmy hangs around this computer so much. I have searched without avail for any smelly candle, ahhhh. I need to write a 250 word paper on myself. I thought that was gonna be a lot but I word counted the about me page I wrote for this and thats about 987 or so, so I dont know how I'm gonna write so little. Blahh. I found an interesting quote, just for thought: "I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible..." -Prozac nation: Elizabeth Wurtzel Trains of thought are not connecting today. I was going to inform you of the things going on in my life recently but as with other times, my brain is clogged. I have found that recently it is harder for me to have unconnected thoughts and be free in mind. Is there too much crap in there again? What can open my eyes? Please let me find some sort of solution to this madness. Or lack thereof. Stage crew started again on saturday, did I say that in my last post? It felt really great to get the physical energy out, to actually work. I need that more often. I got to meet a new senior who joined, Kate Larkin. Its pretty funny but she went to Nativity way back in 1st-3rd grade and we figured that out after chatting for a bit. Crazy indeed. She seems like a hard worker, but I'm nervous she'll get a whole ton of respect in her 1st year even though its technically her freshmen year, like mine was last year. Oh well, better than some other things happening. Blahh my mind is full and yet blank, I need some sort of needle to get inside and for the thoughts to leak out. Yesterday I realized I have no identity. I dont know who the hell I am, and I sure am not gonna be able to explain me to anyone else. Thats all I can squeeze out for now, ciao nildenyas.
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