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Broken Dreams Tis official. I am worth exactly $1,405,744.00. Joy! Now I know it has been ages and ages since I updated last, but please forgive me. I have been under an insane amount of stress due to school work and track too. ...*sigh*... I dont wish to speak of track. It is too painful. Yesterday I ran the open 800 and was suprisingly told that i was to run in the 4 by 400 when there was about 30 secs til they were supposed to start. Lets just say i did so horribly horrible the 400 i dont wish to torture my wasted mind over it for another second. I dunno if that had to with the downpouring rain and bitter wind, but i doubt it. I was feeling miserable before than not counting how i sprinted over to run at the last second without warming up or anything. Kind kind Erin even helped me get my flats on quickly. It was a mess. But now back to the 800. As you might have suspected, this is the tone of a negative entry. If there was good news I would have put it in big bold letters at the beginning of this entry. Well Jen wanted me to qualify in it so i could go to some important meet, i think either delcos or catholic league champ thingums, i havent any idea. Qualifying time is under2:30. Well I have already run a 2:28.9 but since it was in a relay, it couldnt count. Because, of course, I am such pathelogical mess-up, I missed the time by 3 tenths of a second in the open. I was soo close and now im very mad at all the lil factors that could've saved me those 3/10s. Life is cruel. But at the same time I feel guiltily happy, for I despise meets from the bottom of my heart and this one less to fret about. Yet, all the same, I so wish to be good. To be recognized. To be something other than a speck of a "what-if". If only. . .
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