<~10:54 pm on Thursday, May. 15, 2003~>

My appointed 'good day' day

Heyloz world. I am back from a long day but a very enjoyable one. Its surprising i say that, because I know in a few days I'm gonna be all moody and indecisive and say I wasnt me when I said the world was good today. But alas, it was.

Probably a main part of the good mood came with my teacher not being there for biology, so we got to work on the take home test. Everyone else was really lost and had a ton to do, and i know i am a sad pathetic dork, but I was proud to be the furthest ahead for once. I'm always the worst in that class and I love being relaxed about an assignment for it. Of course I tried to keep the nagging thoughts that I still had the fly lab and my quarterly project to do away from my brain.

After 2nd we had the spring concert preview, with selections played by the concert, jazz and percussion band. Everyone performed quite well, and in the middle, the cast of les miz sang one day more again :D!

My favorite piece from the concert band was the compilation of all the disney songs into one ensemble, i guess? Lots of pieces of different disney songs were played and it was like a mind game, figuring them all out, images popping into your head, childhood memories flooding... Hand drawn figures brought to so much life through music of this caliber.

Right after the calming, innocent music of the concert band, the jazz band came. At first they played something that sounded like it would fit into a smokey 1950's bar scene... but then, thats jazz, isnt it? But apparently jazz also includes this interesting bohemian music too, lolz.

In there somewhere also was the singing of Les Miz's One Day More. It started out with a newscaster from channel 3 or something coming and saying how we were stars, and (annoyingly enough) receiving more applause than the band did. I found her rather too bubbly and warm, as all newscasters must be when trying to get people to watch their show. Once she finally shut up, the main cast of Les Miz waltzed out into the aisle in front of the stage. It seemed like an anachronism, an amazing transportation back in time to that incredible period working with Les Miz. I loved that, i feel so spoiled that I started with that show, because now I will be having really high expectations of everything else. But the voices rang just as they had before, i wish it had lasted longer.

It gave me a painful feeling in the pit of my stomach, knowing that next year almost all the people up there would be gone and lost to me forever, or almost so. I would never ever hear my high school's rendition of One Day More again... How much i wish i could stop time and change it back, or just keep it stuck, in one great time, never caring, eternally peaceful inside. I am not even trying to face the fact that high schools halfway over. Just thinking about all this makes me want to cry. I dont know how I'm gonna survive senior year. I'd like to be optimistic about how we'll be in charge next year and it'll be more for us... but so many people are leaving, and pretty soon we will be too. I really dread that day coming. I wish i could be strong and not care, and look forward to getting out and leaving for good, but I cant. I get so attatched to everything. My world is rooted in this highschool, which sometimes i love and sometimes i despise. And i dont want to face the world. It holds nothing out there for me, no place that I can enjoy.

But im getting too moody right now. I convinced myself i would try to avoid this. We are starting sex ed in health and first we started with the girls body, lolz. And it talked about how girls get moody cuz of hormones and junk, which i knew but it reminds me of how sucky this is and how God hates girls. i swear he does. He made us to be inferior, all throughout history, who is inferior? The female? Who is structured to be physically weaker? females. Who gets all moody because they were made to have hormones making them prone to irritability and mood swings and crying over nothing? Whose inner body makes them more susceptible to retain body fat rather than muscle? Who hasta deal with all that shit? I mean seriously, if you look at it rhetorically who wants all that for themselves? I'll take being flat and nearly buttless thank you. It will help me with track at least, if not for fitting into God's universal plan. And i swear I hate all of it. Now everyone at this point probably thinks I'm a wannabe transexual hahahha no its not that i just hate being 'worse'. It seriously is just the epitome of crapiness. And thats just the physical part of it all. Then theres all that social part of it too. Because of these derogatory facts about 'most' not all girls, people think you have to be a weak, willless girly girl more concerned with they're hair than anything respectable either intellectually, athletically or guts-involving. The sad thing is that most others try to turn you into this evil stereotype and unfortunately it is genetically processed into you to be a stupid unself-respecting ditz. Or an egomaniacal whore whose only aim is to be disgustingly attractive and further continue the social implication of the superiority of males.

And I seriously believe I should rather be dead than turn this way. Its makes me want to kill something just thinking about it, ugh.

Anyway I was gonna talk about my wonderful day. Whatever happened to that? Oops. Well as i started before, the band was excelente. Oh yesh, there was one last part to the performance. In the style of contemporary music performances such as the blue man group, the percussion band used new sorts of objects as instruments. For this they used entirely metal trash can lids, and wow, were the musicians amazing. They played a song called "The stink in the garbage". It was incredible to hear such music out of such randomness.

But after that we had to go to our amazingly shortened lunches... the combination of a short schedule and the stupid new lunch systems made it almost not worth it to eat lunch, but we survived. In 5th period we continued to watch Antz, which has been very good, ive actually given up homework during that period and just paid attention to that. Its amazing how much went over my head when i saw it at 8 or 9.

6th period had to be the crazyest day all year, formally known as "Ugly Tie Day". Everyone had to wear a tie in that class, and extra credit was given for the ugliest tie.

Well it started off with the frantic tossing of ties across the room and me and Anna trying to figure out how to tie my tie! (Well technically Dan's tie, but you dont want to hear since i am so overly wordy already) It was funny we kept messing up and eventually it got to the point where toldero had to tie it himself and give it to me. But of course even then i cant have it work. I mess it up yet again, and finally we get it right after about 10 minutes of trying. Then a judging performed by some unknown alumni picked out the top 5 ugly ties in the room. There was some fierce competition, but a wawa tie, a puke colored one, and a pink and brown made it to the finals. The final winner wassss: Beth (i think thats her name) with the pink/brown atrocity around her neck. Yayyy! Then we got up for random team photos, we all hadta get into some weird pose so Toldero came up with the wheelbarrow thing haha... this lead to some debate on whether he was gay or not, but this issue was dropped pretty quickly seeing as our team came up with the best pose given the 10 seconds to think of one.

The period continued in its insanity (I swear everyone was sugar high, or the D had exchanged the oxygen with some other substance) and at some point, he mentioned that if we built a 4-3-2-1 pyramid and stayed up long enough for him to take a picture, we'd get extra credit. It was sooo funny, I got chosen to be on the top which rocked, except it was pure chaos trying to get the thing built and stabilized. It always seemed to encounter some problems and fall right as I was getting up, resulting in a mass collapsation. I pity the room underneath us. After some time the root of the problem was found (of course it was my fault, i couldnt figure out how to getup without help so i was accidentally stepping on someones back, which was not a good move). So with a tad of extra help we got me on and stayed up for a picture, finally tumbling down in a sea of laughter. I dont think Ive ever enjoyed one class so much! It was hilarious. ^^

The rest of the school day was less than eventful, but after school was productive and enjoyable. I finished my take home test during detention so I didnt have to stress out now, and then had the crew set up for the junior prom, which, as always, was crazy-fun. (aka Vespucci) But somehow I managed to make a huge clamor by falling off a ladder and having it come with me. Actually I didnt fall, i pushed against the wall and the ladder fell, and I jumped off. It kept me in shock for several minutes, I thought for sure it was gonna take out the nearby piece of scenery. I also received a huge paper cut from taking out the 'wallpaper', proving I am a klutz at every job.

But still it was enjoyable, and i cant get into all the detail since I am falling asleep at the keyboard, but it involved duck duck goose, trying to learn Chrissy's animal song, and crawling under paper steps.

I am afraid I can no longer ramble for I must get some sleep before going to the set up tomorrow. Goodnite my nildenyas~

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