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floating My mind's an endless void I ever drift through. Floating, listlessly... abandoning thought and purpose. The colors fly past but I am just a passerby, riding through, looking on. A reel of memories play in front of my eyes but I cannot absorb, just wander in my mind. Sounds are silent, yet perception is keen. What is this that I'm feeling? Isnt this what I wanted? This day, these moments... piecing together. It all doesnt add together, I am not a member of this existing realm. I am just a whisp of thought, a memory of others... passing through some minds every now and then. I thought this was that happiness I sought, but instead it made me blind. I could not see that this really isnt what I am. Seconds absorbed into the world, counting for some but not all. Time ceases, I wander on, in the recesses of my mind. I don't know what I'm searching for, this quiet world is fine... It seems too much to ask to live, but its true that life is death. Death to all truth and being, you feel and touch and taste and see but your inability to live is so wonderfully emminent once you have stopped. I look on from shadows and invisible eyes, to see that world that doesnt exist, I am only a phantom of time. I exist but only to those who see me. I effect but only in times limitations. On this world that doesnt exist where living is the death of all. I continue drifting, floating... but for how long? Ages to others, moments to some... and what does it come down to? All of this is nothing, existance is an illusion. in time and thought and place. In other, more plausible news, I am back from the shore. I left on Friday morning/afternoon but the weather was crappy most of the time so we didnt get to go much, and the surfboard went entirely unused. I got into many a bad mood and fight due to who knows what so it wasnt the friendliest family trip, lemme tell you that. I spent a good amount of time alone or reading or watching tv on my own in the front bedroom away from people. It was sorta depressing in that way, the fun part about the shore is going places and doing things with my cousins and even with just Timmy and Caroline. We only went to the beach one day, and went minigolfing and to the surf shop. The surf shop, Heritage, was overpriced as usual and had a tad too much on the preppy side, but I was able to waste away a decent 60 bucks there so I got my fill. They changed the layout around a tad and now the whole upstairs is dedicated to the boards, like I've seen at most other surf shops. Also picked up fudge afterwards, so I'm sure I've packed on a tad more squishyness... That night we had crabs we cooked but I got into this big argument with my cousin Kyle and uncle since kyle lied to me and all this stupid stuff I made a big deal out of. Before I could even think I said I wasnt having any and stormed out. So because of my moody stupidity I spent the night on the top bunk ignoring the world and reading the Green Mile. That book is really something, I can't believe I've put off reading Stephen King til now. His ability to keep you riveted is masterful. But I'm sure you dont need to hear that from me. My computer is making me nervous so im gonna submit, then come back and finish writing.
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