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Patchwork Quilt Timmy is so cruel! Torturing innocent penguins!! :'( Holamos again. The poor penguins I speaketh of are being squished by an enraged pixelized skateboard even as i type! He also feeds the seals to the sharks, evil evil dude he is. This week has been quite chaotic, seeing as it was the week for our quarterly assessments. They're finally over, and it feels great to know that they are gone and done with. A new clean slate to start with, only I somehow know that within a week I'll have that slate shattered... Anyways, where to start? Yesterday was my World History and Spanish exams, which I believe i spent a combined total of 15 minutes studying for. I'm such a bad girl, muahahahaha... I dont know what i got on history but i got a freaking 86 on my spanish!! ARGGGGG thats really gonna mess things up my other tests were like 96s.... glarg, oh well, i deserved it for not studying. History was impossible and I doubt I would've done much better had I studied, a third of the test was on the 30 years war, and I'm serious, she didn't teach anything at ALL about it. Supposedly it was in the pages we had to outline, but I doubt it. And since I was stuck with the suckiness of having England as my research project, I learned nothing bout religious wars since they didnt have any!!! GRR plushie... Afterschool yesterday I didnt do too much, around 5 i went to the library to meet Tori there and go online, but Sami had gotten there by the time i arrived and we just looked at magazines and took Izone stickers from the ads, sticking them everywhere. We left the library pretty soon after that and just basically wandered to the playground in the desolate coldness. It was quite windy and depressingly dark for the time of night. It was too cold and barren so we left just kinda aimlessly going toward William's house without aim or consideration of the time. We only got a few blocks when we realized we should probably head back toward Sami's and Tori's house since it was getting close to dinnertime... blah. The normal noninteresting wandering that consumes my life. Its ashame you came here to waste your time reading about nothingness. Today was barely any more interesting. It started out with that deplorable 86, and then proceeding onto my biology quarterly second period. I didn't put too much energy into studying for it when I really should have since its one of my AP courses, but oh well. It really wasnt as difficult as I thought, almost all the questions we had seen before. Of course with my very slow test taking skills it cut into my lunch so I barely had time to enjoy my mouthwatering strawberry milkshake before the despis-ed bell rang. In homeroom I had gotten a call slip to go out to the trailer during 4th period study hall, with no knowledge HELLO TO U TOO KATiHeLEsN hos wthe log byu e? oops sorry spaassmmm! muehehehehehhe *retarted monkey laugh laugh* AAAAAAnnnyyyways. I hadta go out to the trailer along with Beth DM and Mike H and this one guy i dont know. This counselor talked to us about choosing college majors, different colleges and career choices... I was kinda feeling disembodied and secluded so to speak, if one can be so. I am so unsure about those things... I know a lot of people dont know what they want to have as a career but I feel like I will never find something. I am too multifaceted to be happy in one little speck of existance. There is nothing that suits me. My only possible thoughts were maybe a lawyer or an engineer/architect, which are both at opposite ends of the spectrum... I know i will never be able to pick anything. Being unclassified always leads to the insecurity that common normal content beings seem to take for granted. Not that i would ever want to be anything different than who I am. Glarg i keep getting distracted while writing this! Once the weekend comes I will have stuffles to write about. But where was i? 5th and 6th period were uneventful, 7th period was my theology test. It was really simple exceot for the last part which made absolutely no sense. I really can't explain it but ya know how sometimes the 'questions' arent really questions but rather randomly collected words that seem to have no meaning or question to them unless you read the specific chapter of that certain book you have to learn from. It really bugs me when they are things that a normal person would have no idea what you were talking about unless they had the same notes as your particular class did. I also especially hate how there are true and false questions when either could work, even though you know they are striving for a certain answer. For example one of the common dollars question was true or false: The Pentateuch contains the first four books of the Bible. As a matter of fact it does contain the first four books, even though it also contains the 5th one also. She could ring me up either way if she was feeling especially malicious, arg. Arg like a pirate arg, not just a normal arg, aye. And I despise scantrons!! I can't fill in those little circles to be perfect and it takes me forever to do them, and then when I erase my first answer, and then put the correct one, the machine tells me I'm wrong because I did not own the high quality eraser that leaves the sheet as immaculate as it came. And then of course the every grr plushie inducing Mrs. Neill wont give me the points back even though I had it right!! And she is supposed to be the theology teacher! So much for leading a kind and merciful Christian example. Go chew on your own pencap. (ladies and gentlemen, do not fear that did not have any vulgar meaning but rather tis an inside joke, she constantly yells at ppl for chewing on their pencaps-which is kinda gross but still- and says that will cause cancer. I think having to listen to her 43 minutes a day is enough to scrape 6 years off my life. In English we had a quiz on The Catcher in the Rye to make sure we read it. Hehehehehe. I of course didnt really get too far since I started late, and the career place took my reading time away. That made me a very unhappy girl. But thank God for Mike kim (aka Palendrome boy) and his ability to get all the answers from 1st period class. Its not like I dont read- I was actually enjoying that, but I've been reading another one that was just as good, and I didnt really realize that the quiz was sneaking up. I got a 90 which is ok... especially considering i wasnt past page 50. Poor poor Jacqui, she was one of the few ppl who actually read the book and she failed. I feel so hauntingly guilty for that. And I really feel like throwing something at the desktop computer in the living room right now! It has been barfing out random screaming and bleeping sounds for about 4 hours now from Rollercoaster tycoon that caroline left on when she went to bed. After school today was the jv soccer pizza party at pizza hut. It was kind of a let down, the pregame pasta parties are always so funny and enjoyable but this one the clique-edness of our team was oh too obvious. Its ashame too since this is the last year we'll be like this. Every year half the team is different... its so sad -_-, and especially when u end it with such a nonemotional gettogether. I did get some cool pictures of the team tho, I grabbed like 6 before people could take them from me ------------------------ sniff. I FREAKING HATE THIS GODDAMNED COMPUTER!!!!!-------------------- please remember never to steal pieces of my soul. the pain consumes me oh so deeply I had started writing about the rest of today and tomorrow� and then I finally got into some idolized sock business (shadows love) and how I think I need a new layout. And then of course I got to the part where I poured out my souls inklings and how I feel about who I am and all that stuff and it is gone. My soul is ever broken� my thoughts are left adrift between the world that fades and the one that stays clear, even if none is there to see it. Paper and pencil are much more reliable, but they lack the satisfaction in knowing that I shared my perceptions of today with others rather than locking it up within myself. I do not care whether they hate it or love it but I said it and my voice is not silenced. Oh too often before I would remain silenced when I could�ve spoken. I now realize that I can say what I have to say. I have always loved being different� unique. But how can one be unique if it is all bottled up inside and although u will not conform, u will not speak your thoughts either? You may realize that your views are not what the normal person would have but do nothing. That us what I did. I have always realized there is nothing to �classify� me. What would someone else say? I cannot judge myself but it is hard for others to judge me when they might not know my intity because of how often my words are lost. It is a dreadful pain to me to have my words float away into nothingness, like a dandelion seed in the breeze or whispers in an empty room. I must move on tho, to whisper new words and sow more seeds, for my being shall heal in time. In that time that I hate and yet must live by, time that restricts and brings upon pain; still we find healing. For as someone said time heals all things. I cannot tell you who said that, I am no quote extraordinare like tori�s bf� I just find certain truths and live by them. I have found that time shapes all things, and is such an intrinsic part of every life as it heals and hurts, in its opposite natures. It is a characteristic of existance and although I feel the need to escape from it- have time stop for a moment in the world, I still need it to go on in me. In the middle of my writing time could have stopped for 18 hundred thousand years. But without time, nothing can change, so how would we know? I realize I have gotten into that early morning rambling mood that trys to help me justify the lost writings that my computer lost in the depths of its realm, and have forgotten that my body has a need to sleep and start homework, even if my mind does not wish it so�.
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